Telling yourself the truth

I have been reading a book that a friend gave me and it is very help full. The name of it is "Telling yourself the Truth". It is great and it is teaching me a lot. I have always thought that Anger in any form was wrong and I would always fell guilty for just getting mad. But it is not wrong. It is how you deal with it that is. When I get angry I need to deal with it right then and not stew on it. If I do that then the issue at hand is dealt with and Then I need to just let it go and not keep bring it up in my head. (Which i tend to do a lot) This is what you call self talk. I need to control my self talk and just talk about the problem with the person and then let it lye. It says in Matthew 18:15"If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you." That does not mean "Scream at him" or "Prosecute him" not kick things and slam doors so he or she will figure it out" That last one cut me deep. I do that a lot if Jon or the kids make me mad, I will tend to kick this, slam doors. What does that accomplish NOTHING.

In my reading I have also learned "The truthful statement to make when I am angry it I MAKE MYSELF ANGRY." I find myself saying a lot to the kids you are making me so mad. No they are not I am making my self angry because I am being lazy and not just dealing with them and what they are doing which they think it is okay to keep doing it and which then I lose control because I am being lazy and not dealing with the issue at hand. (That is hard for me to admit)

Here are a few Questions that I need to ask my self. " What things am I telling my self that causes me to stay angry?" The answer to that question is hard for me. I tell my self so many things. When it comes to my kids I think why in the heck are they not obeying me I am there mom and what i says go's no matter what. Well I need to teach them to obey me. They are sinners to just like me and if they are not taught then they will never learn. At different times there are other things that cross through my mind and as I learn what i say to my self I will share them.

The second question which is a hard one. "Why do I insist that someone Else is making me upset when I am the only one who can make myself angry and Keep myself angry." The reason I do this is because of Pride. I don't want to admit that I am the one at fault for getting angry and so instead of dealing with it I will just stew in it (which makes me more angry) In stead of letting my pride fall and being humble I will just keep on being angry because I think that I have the right. Man I have alot of Pride. I read this over and I sound pretty stupid. It is funny to me that I see some one like that and I look down on them or judge them and the hole time i need to be looking in the mirror. How stupid that I can say those things to someone else or think them but not to my self.

Through this walk already I have really learned a lot about myself. I am a very selfish, prideful, Lazy person and those are just a few things i have learned so far. It has not been easy but i really can feel god molding me into the person he wants me to be.
Jeremiah 18:4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
Marred-disfiguring mark; a blemish. I really like this verse. I had some disfiguring marks and some blemishes but now God has me in his hands and is Molding into his pot and teaching me new ways. Just thinking about that makes me cry. God loves me so much, I have been saved for a really long time and he just keeps molding me. Even when i am stubborn and don't want to be he just keeps at it. He keeps teaching me new things. I put blemishes in the clay but then he takes his time to work them out and turns me into a new pot he doesn't leave the blemish or disfiguring in the clay he works them out every time i put one there. Isn't that just amazing to think about.

Well I want to thank all of you for your prayers once again. I really can feel them and i greatly appreciate all your love and support.